Scoops

I was sitting at Dairy Star. Digging into a chocolate Heath Bar Buster, the Lincolnwood equivalent of a Dairy Queen Blizzard. I asked the kind of question you can only ask with a scoop of chocolate ice cream at the end of your spoon.

“So, what do you think is going to happen with Trump?”

I should let you know, I was sitting at Dairy Star with my mom and dad. Before I even finished the question, my dad started to answer but my mom put her hand on his arm and said this, “Wait.”

Dad stopped. I stopped. We both looked at mom. She looked at me and said this, “What do you think is going to happen with Trump?”

I don’t typically fall for the trick of answering a question with a question but I have to admit, it was disarming. Then last night I got a message from Lex, “Could this really be the end of Trump?”

2 people asking my opinion in 2 days, if that’s not a sign I should get over myself and answer the question, I don’t know what is. So please allow me to scoop up the moment with a sprinkle of backstory, here we go…

The Civil War ended and Lincoln ushered in Reconstruction but he was murdered by Racist Lunatics who were Hell-Bent on ending Reconstruction. They succeeded and we have essentially been in A Perpetual Civil War since the end of Reconstruction but nobody had the brass to admit it; and even worse, they deliberately didn’t admit it so we’d be at each other’s throats.

Speaking of Racist Scumbags, we are going to bring down Trump, Pence, Pompeo, Barr, Giuliani and everyone associated with this illegitimate president, including Moscow Mitch.

Listen.

You didn’t read The Mueller Report but I did and let me tell you this: it  was poorly written, painfully repetitive and the footnotes were a case study in verbal diarrhea. Lawyers are terrible writers – Boredom 101 must be a prerequisite course for law school – lawyers have no idea how to tell a story or hold an audience. Having said that, even great American writers like Harper Lee and Kurt Vonnegut have a hard time holding an audience.

If you read “To Kill A Mockingbird,” then you know the moral of the story is you can’t know the world you’re living in until you see the world through the eyes of someone else. If you read “Mother Night,” then you know the moral of the story is that we are what we pretend to be so we must be careful what we pretend to be. And if you read “The Mueller Report,” then you know the moral of the story is Americans don’t read.

This was the gamble Barr made when he redacted the truth.

Take.

That.

In.

Barr redacted the truth and no one blinked an eye because “The Mueller Report” was terrible summer reading. To make matters worse, at the Congressional Hearings, Mueller wimped out and Trump got away with the equivalent of constitutional murder.

Then, as is always the case, do you know what happens when a brat faces no consequence? He’s emboldened!

On the very next day, literally, the very next day, Donald J. Trump turned into his alter-ego, Shake Down Donny. High on thuggery, he called Ukraine.

So where are we?

We have a Speaker Of The House who lacks the charisma to handle the moment. But I will give her this, she’s rattling Trump by showing up to press conferences with Shifty Schiff, an unlikely lawyer who knows how to hold an audience when he says things like this, “We’re not fooling around here.”

Brain Freeze!

Pelosi must ascend to the presidency, even though it’s clear she doesn’t want to. Sorry, Nancy. You wanted the gavel and now it’s time to use the gavel for the greater good. We’re in a Constitutional Crisis where the president and vice president are co-conspirators. You cannot pardon a co-conspirator which is fancy-pants talk for Mike Pence is in on the jig and the jig is up. Also, homophobia is a mental disease.

This is what I think is going to happen.

Granted, I’m not currently the chief of staff for Nancy Pelosi and I’m not auditioning for the job. But I will say this, sometimes you need an outside eye on an inside problem and when you’re ready to face the moment, gimme a call, Madam Speaker.

We’ll talk over a scoop of reckoning.

1 thought on “Scoops”

  1. Jimmy Dore is my favorite progressive. Sorry, we can’t have crooks investigating crooks. What Hunter Biden did was not criminal, but destroys any credibility we have in attacking Trump. 50 thousand a month with no experience and his daddy is Vice President? Trump will fight this and win. We may impeach him in the house but the Senate is a lost cause. I’m hoping Al Franken or Al Gore or a combination of the two run. We need fresh and UNCORRUPTED progressive candidates. If not get used to this asshole until 2024.

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