Church Of Fake News

Lügenpresse is German for Fake News. It was made popular by Adolf Hitler. Incidentally, he also wrote Mein Kempf, which is German for Make America Great Again.

Hitler understood emotion.

The problem with facts is the time it takes to explain yourself. Hitler didn’t want to explain himself. He wanted to connect with the room and blow things up, like a child.

Speaking of cartoonish thugs, this week Trump put out a video called The Trumpsman.

I get it, the mass shooting in the video isn’t real, and if you’re on Trump’s side, it’s all in good fun.

The same thing could be said about the picture Kathy Griffin created where she’s holding up a Zombie Trump Head but instead of allowing those of us who are on Kathy Griffin’s side to cut loose with the same lack of consequence as those hashtagging themselves The Church Of Fake News, Kathy Griffin faced death threats, had her career deep-sixed and her peace of mind stolen by Anderson Cooper who was supposed to be a friend but turned on her faster than John Bolton blowing a whistle.

And no, blowing a whistle isn’t a pun for sucking cock! Blowing a whistle is an acknowledgement of John Bolton’s backroom backstabbing as he seeks to get even with the president who kicked him and his pervy mustache out on his lily white ass.

Nothing turns me on like a White Nationalist catfight.

Bam!

Pass the Astroglide.

Speaking of sexiness, now there’s an image of Nancy Pelosi floating around  where she’s standing off a table of Trump Cronies.

Too. Hot. To. Trot.

So what did Trump do? He took the photo and tweeted about Nervous Nancy having a meltdown. So what did Nancy do? She made the picture her Cover Photo on Twitter.

Nothing turns me on like a blue pantsuit.

Bam!

Pass the Astroglide.

The meltdown looks like foreshadowing. I can write a script but I can’t write the future. So I don’t know what’s going to happen and even if they paid me to lie on television, in all honesty the best thing I could do with the tension is crack a joke. 

Knock knock. Who’s there?

Impeachment.

Impeachment who?

Ben & Jerry’s Impeach Mint with a Racist Cherry on top and Merrick Garland’s Gavel up Mitch McConnell’s ass.

In case you’re wondering, the joke’s not funny because we’re living in the punchline. Every knot in the social safety net has been unraveled.

Friends are taking friends to shooting ranges while children are being gunned down in schools. How’s. That. Funny.

It ain’t.

People with mental health issues are afraid of asking for help because we stigmatize asking for help as a sign of weakness. How’s. That. Funny.

It ain’t.

Mothers are lying to their children, pretending everything is just fine when the writing on the wall is psychotic. How’s. That. Funny.

It ain’t.

Comedy is dead.

Go see Joker.

Then we’ll talk and I won’t say another word about it until you send me a picture of your ticket stub. Nothing on television is true and yet a movie about a DC Comic Book Villain called Joker just might be the antidote to all of the chaos.

Fake News? Maybe. Or maybe this is emotion gasping for air. Hallelujah!

5 thoughts on “Church Of Fake News”

    1. Are you flirting with me? I’m. So. Hot. For. You.

      Gonna slide it in nice & dry, just the way you like it, Dick Slider!

        1. What do you think about the former Soviet Union? Are you a Communist, yes or no. That is a direct question? What do you think of the Bolshevik revolution? Do you sympathize with the Bolsheviks or do you condemn them?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *