Mass Shooting Two-Fer

Call it unfair, call it a bad deal, just don’t call it late for dinner. Moscow Mitch is selling murder and everyone is buying.

This Sunday, there were 2 mass shootings in 1 day: Odessa Texas and Mobile Alabama. The list keeps growing of places no one is safe in America. Add highways and high school football games.

Sounds like a slow news day but luckily for the viewing audience, there was breaking news…

Hurricane Dorian was getting ready to blast through Florida as newscasters busied themselves packing up windbreakers for a photo-op. Who has time for human carnage? Mother Nature is ready for her close up!

Mass Shootings just don’t trend the way Mass Shooting used to trend.

Even Trump knows better than to compete with a hurricane. Here’s the key lesson from Hurricane Katrina: don’t release pictures of the president on Air Force One while down below people are losing their homes.

Ah yes, the good ole days of compassionate conservatism where compassion was best served at 30,000 feet. We’ve gone so far down the white supremacist rabbit hole that I’m actually nostalgic for slightly less obvious racism. Dubya was a racist war criminal but at least he was a folksy racist war criminal. Ah yes, the good ole days.

Tomorrow there’s a debate, 10 candidates vying for the Democratic Nomination: Biden, Warren, Sanders and everybody else nobody really cares about, and if we’re really honest, nobody really cares about Biden, Warren or Sanders.

Every time Biden opens his mouth progressives go into cringe overdrive, trying to downplay the embarrassment. Warren is brilliant but brilliant doesn’t win elections, (if you don’t believe me, ask Al Gore). Sanders is like the canker sore you can’t stop poking. You know he’s there, you know you have to contend with him but you’d rather dose him in Cank-Aid, dress-up nice and pretend he’s not there.

So what are we going to do? Here’s what we’re going to do…

We’re going to keep shooting each other. We’re going to keep changing the channel. We’re going to keep tuning in to see if Hurricane Dorian is called by God to kiss Mar-a-Lago. We’re going to keep cringing when Biden opens his mouth. We’re going to keep rooting for Warren. We’re going to keep dressing-up nice.

What’s it gonna take to wake up the American Electorate? Maybe a Voting Groupon, Warren/Sanders 2020, two terms of Cank-Aid for the price of one.

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