There’s a doctored video of Nancy Pelosi floating around Facebook.
To make her look drunk, they warped the footage so she’s moving slow. The video is manipulated with the intention of reinforcing President Trump’s nickname, Crazy Nancy, but the pace only serves to remind us that she can’t move fast enough to impeachment.
This week, Nancy Pelosi finally used the role she fought to achieve, Speaker of the House. Stepping up to the microphone, she encouraged the White House to hold an intervention. Donald Trump is overdosing on himself but he’s not asking for help, which is the typical behavior of an addict.
Have you ever tried helping someone who hasn’t asked for the assistance? It never goes well. Even when I’m asked for advice, I tend to couch my opinions like you can take all of it, you can take some of it, you can take none of it, you can take only the valuable pieces of advice or melt every element of my thinking into Fool’s Gold.
Listen.
Here’s the mistake we made with President Obama: we spent 8 years explaining the strategy behind his thinking.
I kept hearing he was playing chess while Mitch McConnell was playing checkers, but the truth is, he was playing Connect Four. Mitch was sneaky and now women in Alabama are paying a steep price.
Like it or not, the job of governing requires unrelenting antagonism so if you’re not up to the job, Madame Speaker, pass the gavel. It’s time to dust off The Contract With America. It’s time to spend every waking minute of this president’s life demolishing his sense of well being. It’s a dirty game and we don’t care if Nancy is drunk or crazy or drunk and crazy as long as she’s treating Donald Trump with the same disregard they showed Barack Obama and Bill Clinton.
They said Barack wasn’t born here.
He was.
They said Bill got his dick sucked.
He did.
So what?
They treated both men with an unrelenting disregard. Barack never dealt with it, he made the miscalculation of “They Go Low, We Go High.” Barack came across looking like he was high on himself. Bill got caught up on the definition of “What Is…Is…” Bill came across looking like he was running from the truth, but lucky for us, now we all know for sure exactly what the definition of is..
…is…
Impeach The Motherfucker!
Pulled us out of NAFTA AND TPP, two of the worst trade deals for American workers in 100 years. Is renegotiating the insanely unfair tariffs with China, great for the American economy. Unemployment is at an all time low. There’s a possibility of peace in N. Korea that we would’ve NEVER had under Hillary Clinton or Ted Cruz. He’s unilaterally pulling us out of the Middle East entanglements like Syria. He signed major criminal justice reform bill. He’s making NATO countries pony up their fair share instead of the U.S. taxpayer paying for everything. He moved our embassy to Jerusalem strengthening our alliance with Israel. P.R. people don’t write every speech and tweet. He’s destroyed the legacy press making room for guys like you to give us the news. The establishment hates him. How can you ask for more? If this were a Democrat president you’d be in heaven.
Shhhhh, Elliot. You’re gonna give away my hand.
Let us all remember the tens of millions of people that were murdered and to those that suffer today, our prayers are with you.