Phone Call To The Goddess Of Marketing

Our Lady of Divine Indifference, I know you rolled your eyes as the tanks rolled down Pennsylvania Avenue. Blame it on us, the stupid humans, we got it wrong, The Unholy Independence Day Brief.

You Don’t Telegraph Strength by Thumping on your Chest!

But the Energizer Bunny of Hate cannot help himself. He thinks the Russian Romeo riding around shirtless on a horsie telegraphs machismo, when all it really says is that he hates his younger-self for wanting to kiss a boy and so he’s going to spend the neutered years of his manhood punishing the world as his pubes turn grey.

Hatred Keeps Going and Going and Going and Going!

Our Lady of Status Quo Segregation, I know we had 8 years where the color of the president’s skin caused half of the population to lose what little they had left of their minds. They wore the mask of a Birther thinking we couldn’t see The Southern Strategy lurking beneath the surface. I’m ashamed to admit I cannot name a single person lynched in America.

I’m Part of the Problem!

Our Lady of Perpetual Privilege, I weep for those who see our president’s spoiled asshole wife as anything other than a spoiled asshole. She has accomplished nothing. She stands for nothing. She wore the mask of a Birther, linking her to America’s original sin.

Be Best My Lily White Ass!

Our Lady of Irrelevant Borders, I know you would deny stamping the passport of Alexander Graham Bell as American. You would stamp his passport as Canadian. But at the end of the day, he’s really from the same spinning orb in space as the rest of us and the idea borders matter or passports need to be stamped or children seeking asylum belong in cages was created to keep broken people hating other broken people they don’t know instead of pulling the tacky rug out from underneath casino kings they do know by name who shit on golden toilets.

Diarrhea of the Mouth!

Our Lady of Identity Crisis, why do you punish us with gender norms? Why do you punish us with body parts we didn’t ask for? Why do you punish us with family members who can’t get over themselves? Why do you punish us with dysphoria? I must confess until recently, I didn’t know about dysphoria. I must confess ignorance and for the pain I have caused others due to my ignorance I have no one to blame but myself. Help me! I throw myself at your mercy! Please help me to be a better friend. Please help me to see others as they see themselves. Please help me to shed the skin of uncomfortableness, to embrace the boundlessness of transition, to listen instead of shitting with my mouth.

I’m Out of Loose Change, Bye!

1 thought on “Phone Call To The Goddess Of Marketing”

  1. Trump 2020. Tulsi 2024. Isolationism forever. No more war for the globalist elite, like you pretending to be a man of the people. Concerned about the migrants, go down there and spend the money you’re hoarding feeding those kids! Give away your white privilege.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *