Little Limp Dick

If by little limp dick, Tomi Lahren means having a hard time getting it up for the mass deportation of Dreamers who were brought here by parents seeking a better life for their children, then go ahead and call Congressman Joe Kennedy a little limp dick.

If by little limp dick, Tomi Lahren means having a hard time getting it up for Evangelicals who eviscerated Bill Clinton for cheating on his wife with an intern but are all too eager to forgive Donald Trump for cheating on his wife with a porn star (shortly after his wife gave birth to their son), then go ahead and call Congressman Joe Kennedy a little limp dick.

If by little limp dick, Tomi Lahren means having a hard time getting it up for tax cuts which were a give away to the rich like a trust fund treasure map where “X Marks The Spot” on itemized deductions to write off the build out on the 2nd hot tub they’ve been dreaming about in their Aspen Villa instead of using the money to fix old bridges, pave old roads, modernize airports, overpay teachers, liberate students from student loans, finally pay the balance due on the check marked Insufficient Funds for reparations…then go ahead and call Congressman Joe Kennedy a little limp dick.

Oh, I’m sorry! Did I bring up slavery? Did I bring up Jim Crow? Are your white privilege panties in a twist?

Did I bring up generations of black men and women who were terrorized for sport by White Supremacist Lifetime Achievement Award Winner, and current Attorney General of the United States, Jeff Sessions?!!

Why can’t we talk about it?

We’re never going to get anywhere meaningful until we have an uncomfortable conversation, until we lift up the very people whose dreams we shackled. You know why we can’t talk about it, because we punish everyone who uses the language they’re comfortable using.

Tomi Lahren is 25. She was born in 1992. I know this because I googled “Cruel Brat on Fox Insider.”

It confirmed my suspicion: Tomi Lahren is a child, and she talks like a child, an obstinate child, a child who’s always gotten her way, a child whose every door has been held open.

You can’t see the world through the eyes of someone else until you’ve had the door slammed in your face.

It’s the same thing with Congressman Joe Kennedy. He’s a child pretending to play president for no greater accomplishment than being born with a famous last name. These two are perfect for each other. They’re destined to date: the little limp dick and the girl who cried wolf.

This is who they are. This is how they talk. And look at all of us, tuning in to watch. Call them what they are, “American Royalty.”

See you in the tabloids, kiddies.