Free Advice

Ever listen to yourself while giving advice only to realize how full of shit you are?

It makes me wonder if I’m ever right. I feel right when I’m saying it. But when I think back, certainty always seems to crumble.

I was talking to Vince, my college roommate. He started a blog. Vince is naturally funny and so I told him write more. I told him it would help build an audience. I egged him on! Like I know anything. Here’s a short list of things I don’t know…

  • How to build an audience
  • If writing every day is anything besides an elaborate typing exercise
  • Why it’s easy giving advice but hard taking it in
  • Why some people like sleeping in a bed where the top sheet is tucked in at the foot of the bed
  • Why judging other people only seems to stop when I’m laughing or dancing
  • How it’s possible I started at the exact same school as Lady Gaga but she is the one who ended up kissing Bradley Cooper in “A Star Is Born
  • Why retweeting is even more brain numbing fun than channel surfing
  • Why soldiers follow the orders of cruel men simply because they’re rich or powerful or both when it’s so clear the world would be a better place if they stopped to think before they literally chopped apart a journalist while at the same time the President of the United States of America undermines the free press by calling it “fake news” and goads on a psycopath from Montana who body slammed a reporter
  • How I’m still so naive
  • A good recipe for pumpkin seeds

The truth is, I can write every day. I can find the time to write every day. Not everything has to be long and meaningful. I don’t want to waste anybody’s time but at the same time if someone wants to fart around for a few minutes on my blog it would be rude for there not to be something new there every day. I’m gonna try taking my own advice: write more!

Thanks, Vince.

1 thought on “Free Advice”

  1. I used to give advice, back when I knew everything. And if you didn’t follow my advice, it was obvious, you were a moron. I wish I still knew everything; I liked it.

Comments are closed.