This is the best season ever of Oval Office. I cannot wait to see how the storylines play out.
Individual 1 otherwise known as POTUS 45 is left with no alternative besides pardoning himself or burning down The World As We Know It. Keep in mind, The World As We Know It only serves criminal white men and 53% of criminal white women who are driving the getaway car.
Robert Mueller otherwise known as Special Counsel is on the march, ready to present the facts, just the facts. Nancy Pelosi otherwise known as Speaker of the House is 3rd in line to the presidency behind Individual 1 and Vice President Mike Pence otherwise known as Mute Mike.
Incidentally, here are 2 words I never want to hear: President Pence.
Vince my college roommate otherwise known as Vinny Vegas cannot stop texting me stories about the inevitable indictment of Trump’s Children otherwise known as Criminal Co-Conspirators. His crystal ball is forecasting darkness. Our relationship is like a crystal ball in that we really don’t see each other anymore but there’s a vision we share of how we’d both like to see The World As We Know It. I miss him.
Eddie Gee my fraternity brother otherwise known as Hook Me Up Bro is surprisingly middle of the road for someone who lives such a high stakes life. He calls me to deconstruct the constitutional mechanisms in place within the framework of the constitution. He thinks facts matter. He cannot accept The World As We Know It, a world filled with MAGA HAT WEARING TROLLS hopped-up on anger and perpetual irrelevance.
Mike otherwise known as My Badminton Partner sees the world like a birdie in that it comes at you with incredible speed but then slows down when it’s right in front of your eyes as if defying the laws of motion. He says we’re making this up and we always have been making this up so why not take advantage of the moment: impeach Trump, arrest Trump, impeach Pence, arrest Pence, we’ll end up saying the 2 beautiful words the country truly voted to say, “Madame President.”
My Spoiled Girlfriend otherwise known as My Spoiled Girlfriend doesn’t watch the news, doesn’t like the news, doesn’t need to be told what to think. She reads books. She likes turning me on to books. Last year, I faced backlash. It was an overwhelming experience. It turned my home into a bunker and reduced my world to rubble. So it goes. Backlash stole my ability to read. I couldn’t sit long enough and quiet my thoughts so I could take in the words of someone else. I tried. I failed. I tried. I failed. This pattern went on for a year. Finally, a book My Spoiled Girlfriend recommended broke through, “All The Light We Cannot See.” It’s 530 pages. I’m currently on page 49 on my 2nd reading. It takes place in 1944. It takes place in 1934. Then it takes place in 1944, in the weeks and days and hours and minutes leading up to the bombing of Saint-Malo, a small town on the outskirts of France. There’s a blind girl trapped in a house as the bombing reduces her world to rubble. How did she get there? Why is she alone? How will she survive? Why do we do this to each other? Over and over and over, why do we do this to each other? The book is beautifully written and I don’t want to spoil it for you but at the same time I don’t want to recommend it since I’m not a big fan of unloading an obligation, which is what a book really is… an obligation.
You have to quiet your thoughts.
You have to slow down your world.
You have to stop and think.
This is thing most difficult thing to accomplish in 2018: to stop and think. This is how Russian Trolls spread misinformation during the election of 2016. Of course Facebook was wrong. Of course Twitter was wrong. Of course Instagram was wrong. So was Fox News, Breitbart, InfoWars, The Chicago Tribune and The Daily Stormer. Of course!
But if you stop.
If you think.
If you stop.
If you ask yourself why is this information blasting into my face and why am I so eager to go blindly along, you’ll get to the crux of “All The Light We Cannot See.”
We’re the blind girl. We’re trapped in a house in front of a computer screen where our thinking is being poisoned by The Social Media Blitzkrieg otherwise known as Misinformation. But we like it. We like going along. We like hating people we don’t really know. We like chanting “Lock Her Up.” We like tuning-in to see what’s going on with The Reality TV Star otherwise known as Mister President otherwise known as POTUS 45 otherwise known as Individual 1.
“You sold out your country,” a judge said yesterday to Michael Flynn, who stood in front of the RNC in 2016 egging on a room filled with Racist Nutter Butters otherwise known as Republicans. He got them to gleefully chant “Lock Her Up.” What was Hillary Clinton’s crime? Really? Running for the presidency while having a vagina?!! And yet the judge let Michael Flynn walk out of the courthouse. He wasn’t held without bail. He’s guilty of treason. And yet he walked!
No wonder My Spoiled Girlfriend reads books. In books there’s justice. In books there’s meaning. In books there’s a lesson. In life there’s darkness.
See?
This is the best season yet. Unfortunately, we have too many seasons ahead. The impeachment season, the criminal indictment season, the pardon season, the Supreme Court season, the martial law season, the prison season and the civil war season are still in the works.
Let’s make a plan, I’ll come to Chicago in January for a weekend. I miss seeing you regularly.
Poor little Libturd. Is the great man in the MAGA Hat triggering your Hussein was born here fantasies. Why don’t you take a break. You sound tired. Take Hillary to Benghazi. Bring Oprah. You can talk about Michelle Obama’s book & talk about coping strategies for PMS.
The great bulk of Americans, Mr. President, are ebullient over your decision to remove our troops from Syria, and soon from Afghanistan. Since the start of those two murderous misadventures, in 2001 and 2003, many American parents have welcomed home from war only dead; legless, blind, or armless; or mentally troubled children. No victories, no end of wasteful spending, no national government concern for dead, save for a few faux tears at Andrews Air Force Base, and no general officer competent – or, seemingly, willing — to lead our troops in a way that ensures America wins. Mr. President, the beginning of the end of the governing elite’s 70-years of military interventionism is a precious Christmas gift to Americans, their children, and their hopes for the republic’s recovery.
This little LibTurd went to the market. This little LibTurd stayed home. And this little LibTurd went wee-weee-wee all the way to Trump’s 2nd term. Merry Christmas!