James Comey is selling a book and everyone on television is lining up to give him an opportunity for a shameless plug. Especially President Trump.

A 3-way with Crooked Hillary and Stormy Donald didn’t satisfy Slime Ball Comey. Now we’re in a Triple-X Rated Constitutional Crisis and “Higher Loyalty” is the money shot currently dripping down the chin of Lady Liberty.

I don’t think it’s a good idea, using war to pull focus from smut. Hell hath no fury like a porn star scorned.

This weekend, we dropped bombs on Syria. I can’t even imagine the price tag. I suppose I could ask Almighty Google. But what’s the point? The amount of money doesn’t matters. It’s how easily we spend money on all the wrong things.

I know we can’t turn a blind eye when the people of Syria are gassed with Chemical Weapons. But at the same time, why is it so easy to look away when the people of Flint Michigan are poisoned by their very own drinking water? Or the people of Puerto Rico are left in darkness after Hurricane Maria? Or Native Americans in North Dakota are blasted with water cannons in subfreezing weather at Standing Rock? Or black men are dragged out of Starbucks in handcuffs for waiting on a friend before ordering a $4 dollar cup of coffee?

It’s too literal. We’re not supposed to be burned. That’s the aftertaste of the coffee.

I know we can’t turn a blind eye on the rest of the world. But it sure would be nice if we got our own house in order. We could start by making John Boehner address the 420,000 people he helped put in prison for non-violent drug offenses while he was Speaker Of The House. We could do this before he gets paid to join the board of Acreage Holdings.

In case you’re wondering, Acreage Holdings is an investment group which cultivates, processes and sells cannabis in 11 states. Call them what they are: drug dealers, which is perfectly fine with me, since I have no problem with people getting high. Lazy people should be allowed to cut loose and ambitious people should be allowed to make money off lazy people cutting loose.

The American Dream is really about servicing the munchies.

Insane people who once held power, like John Boehner, who destroyed lives with that power, like John Boehner, should not be granted a “cush” spot on a cannabis board without playing an active role in addressing the pain he sent rippling through poor communities.

Donald Trump wants to drop bombs. James Comey wants to sell books. John Boehner wants to deal drugs. Literally!

These men change their color for no greater purpose than putting green in their pockets. At least Stormy Daniels isn’t pretending to be anything other than what she is: a businesswoman looking to put asses in seats while she dances on the pole. I respect the simplicity of the business model. It’s not at the expense of anyone else.

I know it’s complicated. I know all too often, helping someone else is an exhausting waste of time. But at least there’s grace in the attempt. I don’t know the color of grace. But it certainly has nothing to do with money.

Listen.

You can’t drop bombs, literal bombs, unless you’re Eminem at Coachella. Then it’s fun instead of earth shattering.

It takes a lot more than a Friday night bombing spectacular to change a war torn country into a quaint destination where you can spend the afternoon farting around looking for jewelry and strange smelling fruit in the Damascus Bazaar.

More than anything else it takes empathy.

Empathy is a bigger blast than the energy released by a bomb, cannot be explained in a sound bite on a book tour, and even though you might think it’s something you can find it at the bottom of a bong, all too often it’s just a clever name…

“Empathy Kind Bud,” smoke em if you got em.